Oxymorons

I had a great long weekend this weekend. My family all drove to Vancouver to visit my aunt and uncle and my two quite young cousins. It was interesting having someone so attached to me. My cousin Nova just wanted me to be everywhere she was and do everything she was doing. A couple occasions I had to disappoint her, but all in all, we had a great time together. I was talking to my mom and asked her why she thought Nova was so attached, and she suggested it might be because the last time they visited, I was still in the hospital. I was talking, but it was just after I had started talking, and I was still in rough shape.

Today I had another experience that got me thinking. A rep from one of the companies I deal with at my parent's shop came to talk with me about supplies. He said he heard I was sick and asked me a few questions. I gave a brief description of GBS and my situation and he commented how amazed he was with my good spirits.

I started thinking. Am I happy, or is it just that I'm so used to being happy that I don't know how to act? Am I happy? What counts as happy? Am I in good spirits?

GBS is this thing that has left me very confused with my emotions. I'm happy but, I'm also sad and frustrated. I laugh, but I also cry so easily. Everyone has good and bad days... I just have more bad than I used to? I get tired. And then I get grumpy with the people I love, and then I feel guilty and angry. I'm constantly worried about whether I'm going to be one of the unlucky ones that has GBS more than once.
I've been reading some Calvin and Hobbes lately, can you tell?