Numbers

So the problem for me with this whole recording numbers business, a lot of the time comes down to literally, just writing them down. Mentally, I'm all for the incremental progression through daily practice. Even if I fall off the wagon once in a while, it's generally easy for me to get going again. I just show up to class, remember how much I love what I'm doing and believe in the program, and then bam! I'm back...

But when it comes down to recording the numbers and keeping track of where I'm at.. I suck. No, that's not true. I've been trying to test out some new ways of doing it. I thought, there's probably a more efficient way of doing this, so I'm going to try... something new. But I've now gone back to my original way. Whether it's more effective or efficient for anyone else is pretty irrelevant. And it might seem silly to do it the way I did, but it was working. I'm all for innovation, but not if it's not effective. So I'm back at it again. Not just the acts, but the numbers too. I try not to lie to myself, and this is just like a giant mirror, showing you the things you didn't accomplish today, and all the things you're excited about working on again tomorrow. 

Life's Path

Since going on the wolf walk and hearing the story of the people owning it, I have been thinking a lot about how our lives evolve.

At boot camp Sifu Brinker asked us, "how many people here feel that they individually have the power to change the world?" I didn't. I do feel I have the power to create change in my environment. But I also started thinking about it more afterwards. I can change the world. Through my actions, I create a ripple affect that can affect those around me, and in turn affects those that they interact with. Thinking about this had lead me to think about all of our interactions. How many ripples have we created that have traveled the world?

When I asked Shelly how she had gotten into wolf handling ( I guess I'll call it that) she said her and her husband were photographers and decided to adopt a wolf. That was a while ago. Since then she said that they decided to use their photography as a platform for educating people about wolves. They took a single step towards something they were passionate about and since then, their lives have kind of unfolded around them. I'm sure it took hard work at times, and a lot of dedication, but I'm pretty sure that's what kung fu is about.

What to do?

Where do you start when you haven't blogged in?.. I don't even know.

I could start with the excuses that I've got, but they're lame, and there's no point except sounding lame, which I'd rather avoid. I think it has to do with me being too busy, and taking on too many things. It's hard to keep yourself accountable, when you're so widely spread. But, this is my own fault because I commit to too many things, and then struggle with getting them all done. I have to remind myself constantly that I can't keep the same kind of lifestyle I had previously, not yet anyways. I have always spread myself thin, but now I have a little bit less energy to spread, and it's affecting my commitment to my goals this year.

In that regard, I'm having a hard time not beating myself up over some of the things I've been missing. And this is where I have to keep my eye on the prize daily. I can't have these vague large numbers I want to achieve in half a years' time. I need to refocus on my daily goals and work on making consistent effort again. Whether or not I reach the end goal, the chances are much higher if I focus on the day to day progression.

On a positive note though. I have achieved something that wasn't on my personal requirements, or something I had not spent a lot of time thinking about earlier this year. I taught at boot camp. Whether or not my lessons were successful (i'm not sure how to gauge that) my confidence level certainly jumped. Although my nutrition lecture turned into more of a 'lecture' than I intended, I've been excited about Ba Gua ever since I suggested it, and I really felt good about it. Everyone tried really hard to learn a very complex and totally new style of movement, and I was super impressed with everyone at the boot camp. Watching everyone's successes and struggles during the fitness test really made me feel inspired. To be able to witness people pushing themselves beyond their own limits, it was incredible to be a part of. So thank you to everyone who committed themselves to an intense day of kung fu. Amazing!

I'd like to finish with a quote by a deep thinker I know...

"Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall Mel?... He took his eye off the prize"
- Simon Cox (my brother in law)