I had my neurological reassessment yesterday. Basically, 3 months after discharge, they do full check up to see how your recovery is progressing. It was 4 hours and I met with each of my original therapists from my inpatient stay at the Glenrose. It was kind of cool. I mean some of the people I really didn't need much follow up with, because I already didn't really need much from them on discharge. Other people it was a little different. I definitely have made a lot of progress since I left, and I think it's pretty obvious in most ways, but less obvious in some others.
There was a couple of things that really stuck with me. The first was that I asked the neurologist if there was anything I could do, not necessarily to increase the speed of my recovery, but to increase the odds of me reaching a full recovery. Some people with GBS fully recover, and some people don't, and scientifically, they don't have a lot of reason one way or the other. She basically told me no. But she did say that one of the most important things that I do was to keep working at it. She said a lot of times the people that don't fully recover are the people that stop trying because they reach a level of functionality, and everything past that is too difficult. I took that to heart. I've never been one to give up, but I do struggle with follow through, hence one of the reasons that I've really benefited from the I Ho Chuan.
Another thing that really stuck out to me was the talk that I had with my physio. He basically said no one can tell me whether or not I'm going to get full function back at this point. But he made a pretty funny reference to old kung fu movies. He said "you know how the old guy always beats up the young, fit, cocky, kung fu guy? That's not because he's stronger or fitter. It's because he's had the experience to know how to use his body to his advantage." He also said to me that I basically have an end goal, whatever it may be. There's lots of different paths I can take to get to that same place. Some of them might be more difficult, and I might have to be more a lot more resourceful.
Friday 26 February 2016
Friday 19 February 2016
To Change or Not to Change
I have to admit that I am a person that normally thrives on change. I like to go on trips to explore new and exciting things. I've never had the same job for more than 2 years. I consider consistent change to mean consistent growth.
But, since the GBS, I've found the change a lot more frightening. I want to feel more grounded. I put my plans to move out of province on hold. I'm not ready to take that big of a step. I suppose part of the it is that I don't really know when I'll be fully recovered. It can take up to 2 years to get full function back. I've been improving really quickly, but doctors and therapists consistently warn me of the possibility of plateaus in my progress.
My Uncle asked me, during one of our conversations the other day, how I stay positive. All I could say was that I just try to keep my eye on small improvements that I notice daily or weekly and that it really helps keep me motivated. I did my first knee pushup on Wednesday and I went through the house and told everyone. I was really excited. Even though I could only do it once. It didn't matter. I mean, that's one more than I could do a month ago. That means that all of my effort is doing something. The interesting thing about learning to do everything over again is that it gives you an opportunity to really break everything down and learn about how all of the parts of your body work together. I know it seems weird, but in so many ways, this experience has given me so many new opportunities. I've learned a lot. I'm changing on the inside. This has been an opportunity for huge spiritual growth.
Numbers for Feb. 8-14
Pushups (modified) - 480
Situps - 580
Tai Chi - 25
Nunchaku - 28
KMs - 33.86km
AOK - 12
Meditation - 0
Calligraphy - 0
But, since the GBS, I've found the change a lot more frightening. I want to feel more grounded. I put my plans to move out of province on hold. I'm not ready to take that big of a step. I suppose part of the it is that I don't really know when I'll be fully recovered. It can take up to 2 years to get full function back. I've been improving really quickly, but doctors and therapists consistently warn me of the possibility of plateaus in my progress.
My Uncle asked me, during one of our conversations the other day, how I stay positive. All I could say was that I just try to keep my eye on small improvements that I notice daily or weekly and that it really helps keep me motivated. I did my first knee pushup on Wednesday and I went through the house and told everyone. I was really excited. Even though I could only do it once. It didn't matter. I mean, that's one more than I could do a month ago. That means that all of my effort is doing something. The interesting thing about learning to do everything over again is that it gives you an opportunity to really break everything down and learn about how all of the parts of your body work together. I know it seems weird, but in so many ways, this experience has given me so many new opportunities. I've learned a lot. I'm changing on the inside. This has been an opportunity for huge spiritual growth.
Numbers for Feb. 8-14
Pushups (modified) - 480
Situps - 580
Tai Chi - 25
Nunchaku - 28
KMs - 33.86km
AOK - 12
Meditation - 0
Calligraphy - 0
Friday 12 February 2016
Alabama Reflection
I am a very fortunate person. I could spend a day listing all of the things that I have to be grateful for just in this past year. When I really think about it, I've had so many amazing opportunities, and I've also been lucky in the people I've been able to spend my time with.
We've been talking in the I Ho Chuan meetings a bit about Alabama. I sit and reflect about our trip there all the time. There's something special about a place like that. Sometimes I feel as though it's there as a constant reminder of how lucky I am. Not only that, but it also reminds me often of how important empathy is, and compassion, and I try to apply those thoughts to the things I do every day.
I met some extraordinary people. I met them and it made me realize that they ARE extraordinary but, not because of a cape that they wear or because they're famous. They're extraordinary because they're just like me in so many ways. Just regular people, working towards their own personal mastery. And that is something that is really amazing to see. That, in itself, is worth the trip. That is the kind of person I'm working to be. And it's incredibly inspiring.
We've been talking in the I Ho Chuan meetings a bit about Alabama. I sit and reflect about our trip there all the time. There's something special about a place like that. Sometimes I feel as though it's there as a constant reminder of how lucky I am. Not only that, but it also reminds me often of how important empathy is, and compassion, and I try to apply those thoughts to the things I do every day.
I met some extraordinary people. I met them and it made me realize that they ARE extraordinary but, not because of a cape that they wear or because they're famous. They're extraordinary because they're just like me in so many ways. Just regular people, working towards their own personal mastery. And that is something that is really amazing to see. That, in itself, is worth the trip. That is the kind of person I'm working to be. And it's incredibly inspiring.
Friday 5 February 2016
Sihing
Listening to Sifu Hayes talk about the rank of Sihing yesterday, reminded me a lot of my time in China. He reminded me of when I achieved the rank of Sihing and then was kind of left to my own devices. It's interesting how lost you can become when you are used to someone leading you down the path with a harness and then, all of a sudden, even though you've walked the path a thousand times, they take off the harness, and want you to walk the path on your own. Sometimes feeling lost can lead to frustration and anger. Even though it's completely unwarranted. Although I never felt that about my training at Silent River, I had a similar experience.
In China there was a very interesting period near the end of our time there where we were 'set free'. At the time, my classmates and I felt a lot of bitterness about it because we hadn't finished learning the discussed curriculum, and we felt we were kind of being cheated out of our education let's say. Now, I see it was a very crucial part of the training for me, and it was a test from our Master. You see, many of his students had become teachers at his school. I know that part of the scenario sounds familiar. But, I would say 90% of those students had stopped practicing altogether, and had none of their own goals. They taught mostly for the money and, spent a lot of the time when Shifu was not around, sitting and playing on their phones.
This period was a very trying time. Shifu just left us to practice on our own. Without feedback, often it's difficult to feel like you're improving. But, I still pushed myself to go to class everyday. I had faith I suppose. And I knew I already had a million things to work on. I also learned how to motivate myself to practice. This is something that has helped me every day. I know how important it is to keep working and moving forward. And I know that having that period of time to practice my own self discipline right before I came home, really helped set me up for a positive reintegration back into what I would call 'normal' life. Where the average person doesn't have 8 hours every day to spend training, but somehow still drives themselves to make constant improvements.
In China there was a very interesting period near the end of our time there where we were 'set free'. At the time, my classmates and I felt a lot of bitterness about it because we hadn't finished learning the discussed curriculum, and we felt we were kind of being cheated out of our education let's say. Now, I see it was a very crucial part of the training for me, and it was a test from our Master. You see, many of his students had become teachers at his school. I know that part of the scenario sounds familiar. But, I would say 90% of those students had stopped practicing altogether, and had none of their own goals. They taught mostly for the money and, spent a lot of the time when Shifu was not around, sitting and playing on their phones.
This period was a very trying time. Shifu just left us to practice on our own. Without feedback, often it's difficult to feel like you're improving. But, I still pushed myself to go to class everyday. I had faith I suppose. And I knew I already had a million things to work on. I also learned how to motivate myself to practice. This is something that has helped me every day. I know how important it is to keep working and moving forward. And I know that having that period of time to practice my own self discipline right before I came home, really helped set me up for a positive reintegration back into what I would call 'normal' life. Where the average person doesn't have 8 hours every day to spend training, but somehow still drives themselves to make constant improvements.
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it."
~Lou Holtz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)