Suspicious

The last month and a half has been very frustrating, stressful, and mostly depressing. Don't get me wrong. There are certainly these amazing moments, and some fantastic opportunities, and I appreciate these things more than ever. Maybe that's one of the benefits of bad situations.

I could list all of the things gone wrong.. Dan's job, the motorcycle accident, being rear-ended, having my identity stolen. These things individually could be a cause for stress, but it seems like everything has happened all at once. I have spent incredible amounts of time on the phone, on the internet, filling out paperwork, and in various locations dealing with all this stuff. I'm so busy at work I'm having a hard time completing the day's tasks, but I'm also distracted and less efficient.

This weekend I went into a TD branch to discuss some fraudulent account under my name. I was listening to myself explain it to the teller, and then the manager, and I honestly just had to laugh. These are situations that happen in the movies, not in real life, and not to someone that has as financially boring a life as I do.

It's unfortunate that these experiences leave me less trusting, and more suspicious of people and their motives.  It is fortunate however, that I have so many people in my life that I do trust.

A Breath

I am, and probably will continue to be, someone that has a lot on my plate. I enjoy being social. I enjoy accomplishing things in my spare time. I just don't enjoy when I unintentionally over-commit myself. I don't like being late, or not being somewhere when I say I'm going to be. 

Kung fu is one of those things that I've always managed to make time for. Even if it's just a little bit here and there. Or some mental brainstorming and processing of some concept we've been working on. It's always been there. Sneaking it's way into things. Which is one of the ways that I continue to feel engaged even when my life gets crazy. 

Though life has been hectic the last few weeks, I've made a lot of progress mentally. I don't feel like I get so easily overwhelmed, but at the same time, it builds up slowly, so I often don't notice it. It becomes like some kind of fervor. I just start getting more and more frantic, so that by the time I realize where I'm at mentally, it's gone too far.

I have realized that some of the things that are going on, were starting to weigh on me. I was letting myself get too caught up in that sense of urgency. None of the things are urgent. None of them are going to be easy, but if I just keep making small progress forward. I will figure these things out.