Apathy

I've been fighting my own personal battle against apathy for most of my adult life. When I'm disappointed in society and individual people it becomes very difficult to stay passionate and present in my own life. I think it can be so easy to become cynical and bitter. This state of mind leads me directly into feeling apathetic towards life in general.  Just sit down, and forget about the world around me. I find myself asking the questions like "why should I care?" and "what's the point?".

I've been disappointed so many times in the past 5 years here, and I imagine I will be struggling with these feelings throughout the rest of my life. I expect a lot from myself, and so have a tendency to also expect a lot from other people. It's hard for me to keep in mind sometimes that other people aren't me, and they have different values and ideas about what is important to them.

At the same time, I try to maintain the faith that people are inherently good. I've been following the news of the Enbridge Northern Gateway project, and in some ways, I'm so disappointed in the Federal governments' decision. But, I'm also really happy that so many people are standing up for their rights and what they want. I watched a pretty interesting Ted Talk recently about apathy and I thought it had a very valuable message.

http://www.ted.com/talks/dave_meslin_the_antidote_to_apathy?utm_medium=on.ted.com-facebook-share&utm_campaign=&utm_content=awesm-publisher&utm_source=facebook.com&awesm=on.ted.com_stqZ

It's been too long

So I've fallen off track with some of my goals lately. Particularly, calligraphy and blogging. When I made these commitments at the beginning of the year I wasn't cooking for myself because I knew it would be really difficult to manage my free time to maintain these goals. But, since I've had worms, I've started cooking all my own food again, and it's reminded me how sometimes even when you're making simple things, it can take a fair amount of time. If I had proper equipment and a kitchen, I'm sure I could cut this time down, but I don't, so I'm just working with what I've got. Which is basically a paring knife, and a hotplate with wok. It can be interesting sometimes.

So this week I've been trying to reorganize my daily schedule a little bit and I've been able to pick up some of the things I let fall off. We've also been having a fair amount of internet troubles of late, which has thrown off my blogging schedule. I've discovered that I'm really becoming a creature of habit.

My good friend MoMo is back for the summer, so I'm pretty excited about that. We also had a great class yesterday on jump kicks and aerials (which I am far from achieving) but we were actually given some good feedback and also some steps we can work on to possible improve our coordination. When it comes to jumps, it usually ends up being the people that can already do them practicing, and everyone else kind of standing around watching. But this time we split up into two groups and spent some time working on the actual technique. I think I improved more in that one class than I have in the past few years.