Everything is Medicine

I've been reading a book recently about Shamanic traditional healing practices from the Amazon jungle. It's fascinating, and makes me question a lot of the things I think I know. My favourite kind of book. Today I read something that really meant something to me. I had an epiphany.

He said everything is medicine. And he didn't mean food or plants that can be used as natural medicine. He meant every illness is medicine. Every time your body tells you something is wrong, is a form of medicine. The things that you learn about yourself, and the strength you find within can be the most powerful kind of medicine you can get. I have had many injuries throughout my kung fu training. I was reflecting on every injury I had in China. I learned how to train with a pulled hamstring, how to stretch through scar tissue afterwards, and what kind of massage and other treatments I needed to heal.

He suggested there were two ways to deal with this kind of medicine. Fight it and fear it, or embrace it and learn from it. I realized I have almost mixed these two approaches together when I think about my experience with GBS. I try to embrace it and I have definitely learned a lot from the experience. But I am also so afraid. Afraid I'll get it again. Afraid this means I'm susceptible to other auto-immune diseases. Afraid that I won't be able to live the full life I want.

Most of the time I'm so proud of myself. I'm still amazed at my own strength and how much I've recovered sometimes. I worked hard, and I pushed my limits constantly. But there's this fear buried in there that catches me off guard sometimes. I am paranoid anytime I feel sick that something's coming. There's some big sickness looming over me, and I'm not done yet. I know the more I think like this, the more likely it is to come to fruition. So I guess I haven't accepted the medicine I've been given, yet.