Truths

I try not to lie. I make a very strong effort to be truthful in my interactions with my friends and family and to not put myself in a position where I feel the need to lie to someone. If I lose touch with a friend because I forgot to respond to an email, or because I was struggling to find words to say, I usually am quite able to admit it honestly.  I have been working on two areas of my life in the past couple of years, and although I've made improvements, I still sometimes lose my way.

One, is if I know someone will be hurt by the truth. I know honesty is generally the best policy, but if it's someone that I really care about I struggle internally with the decision. Sometimes it really just has to be done. Rip the bandaid off so they say. But often I find I try to avoid the subject or talk my way around it trying to come up with ways to soften the blow. Usually the person doesn't appreciate that approach, but it's always this difficult approach for me. I hate hurting people.

The second struggle is myself. I made a goal this year to not lie to myself. That's about when it comes to goal setting and procrastination and also when it comes to my inhhhner motivation and taking a deep look at my actions and my decision making. I've often been the type to take action and think later, and I really wanted to spend some time this year looking at what I wanted to accomplish. Interestingly, things as we all know, didn't really go according to plan. But it has left me with a lot of things to think about. I just don't know that I ended up any more self aware. Being honest with yourself is sometimes one of the hardest things to do.. And this is totally not what I had started blogging about.. I don't know how I ended up here.