Happy 70

This Saturday was my Grandma Beckett's 70th birthday party. You know, it's amazing to have people in your life that constantly remind you how lucky you are. My dad's mom died when I was two. She had severe rheumatoid arthritis and was taking some trial medicines that eventually caused her liver to fail. I never knew her, but I've heard she was an amazing lady.

My grandpa remarried in 1989. Grandma Bev taught me how to make pickles (one of my favourite foods), she's always called me on my birthday, and when I was sick she came to the hospital at least once a week and gave me Reiki. She's been super supportive throughout my life and she's always introducing me to her friends so that they can all be awed at how awesome I am :) Bev was a massage therapist and started her own very successful massage practice. She only retired last year at 69.

She's an alderman for Leduc and is very involved in their arts community. She's always inviting us to music events at the Maclab theatre and keeping us informed of improvements to their city hall; such as adding solar power. She still makes pickles and I'm amazed by her green thumb. She's always showing me her sweet peas when they're in bloom.

Bev is one of those people that as you get older, inspire you to be a better person. She's just turned 70, and for her 70th birthday she went on a trek to Machu Picchu and to the Galapagos Islands. She did things she never dreamed she would be doing at 70, and she said she's had the grandest adventure of her life so far. I've never seen someone that was excited to be turning 70, but she's been planning for this for years.

We threw her a surprise party that somehow, actually stayed a surprise. She was so excited and kept telling us all how blessed she is. I have to say though, I feel like I'm the lucky one. When I grow up, I'd like to be just like her.

Emotions

I don't know if this post will be very clear. I'm still processing some of what Sifu Brinker was talking to us about in black belt class; the difference between reacting and responding.

I understand the concept, although I'm not sure if I'm responding or reacting sometimes. Usually if I can analyze it afterwards, I can see what my mindset was. He brought up the different brain function and was talking about how the alpha brainwaves are different than the beta that we generally walk around in. He mentioned that martial artists spend more time in Alpha than the average person and he also said something about how Zen masters like Thich Nhat Hanh walk around in Alpha all the time and I got to thinking about emotions and the way I deal with stress.

If I can be in a more alpha state of mind generally, I assume that rather than reacting to stressful situations and confrontation, I would have more ability to choose to respond to those situations. I like to think that I'm pretty cool and collected but I know sometimes I speak too soon, or I can antagonize people unintentionally. Would this mindset give me the power to be more aware and in control of my thoughts and feelings? Would I be able to deal with irrational thoughts before they really get under my skin?

Excuses

Sifu Brinker was talking to us yesterday in the meeting about unexcused absences. Although, I've been working really hard at being compassionate with myself the last couple of years because I do get more tired than I used to. I am physically still weak in a lot of ways, which I am currently working on, but I have been advised to make this process a slow one. So no, I'm not making all of the physical requirements. But some of the requirements I set even though I knew initially, I would not be able to meet them. I guess in a way, they are like a target. Which is the idea. I don't want goals that I can already achieve. How are they goals then? I want goals that I have to work my way up to. Something that I struggle to achieve. Maybe I don't achieve them. But I am consistently improving. I think that's what I am getting at.

But there are still times when I'm making excuses. Excuses for why I'm not going to meditate tonight. Excuses for why I still haven't really improved my calligraphy. Those kinds of excuses. But then I was reminded of this quote I read in a book recently, and it made me question not necessarily missing practices, but the other excuses I make to myself. Throughout the day, every time I brush off something that is important to me.

I've been keeping this in the back of my mind ever since I heard it. I think it will help me on my journey this year.

It's a New Year

This year I have a lot to be excited about. I'm teaching a lot of people forms. That's awesome. I love sharing my knowledge and it's a really great way for me to practice teaching. Teaching something I've never taught before is really difficult. The words that I use to describe movements need to be clear but not too defined. There has to be a small amount of room for adaptation. Everyone moves slightly different, and we all have our limitations. However, I'm going to try to remain as true to the forms as I can. Teaching someone a different style is often more difficult than teaching a beginner, There are so many similarities that it's easy to start to merge things together if you're not careful. Wudang looks like Kempo or vice versa.

I have come up with a blog challenge for myself this year. I'm going to write one blog a month on ways that I am experimenting with to reduce my environmental footprint. Some of the things I have already been researching and experimenting with and I'm hoping that this will not only share some good ideas that I've test run, but make me even more mindful on a daily basis of the decisions I'm making that directly and indirectly effect our environment. There are so many small things we could all be doing to help with this, and I hope to raise some awareness about those things.

Meditation and calligraphy are both still on my list. Although I've been practicing them both still, it's been very inconsistent. And the calligraphy student I started teaching last year lost interest pretty quickly. I have to say it's painstakingly detailed and I haven't come up with a less boring way to teach it. It's the way I learned. I practiced each tiny dot individually before I learned any of the actual strokes. It's an incredibly important detail just how you first make contact between your brush and the paper. It can change the entire look of a stroke. Kind of reminds me of 'Jeet'. I have decided to be a little less ambitious with my meditation. My goal was to meditate a half hour every day last year. But I did it so inconsistently it would maybe be half an hour a week. So now I've decided that even if it's 10 minutes, I need to start doing it daily. Then I can work on increasing my number. Incremental progression.

My forms this year are ambitious though. I am practicing a straight sword form that I've half forgotten. So it will be half relearning, half perfecting. That's cool with me. For my hand form I've chosen BaGua. This is going to prove to e difficult. It requires a lot of balance and smooth movements which are not my forte at the moment. But that's why I chose it. I\m hoping it will help me progress a lot this coming year.

I'm very excited to get to know some of our new teammates, but sad to see some go. But, we can't all be on the team all the time. Just wanted everyone to know how much I've loved this past year of getting to know you all. Last night was amazing. I left feeling tired, but full of gratitude for getting to spend my new years with such a spectacular group of people.

Moving Forward

I'm not great at writing under pressure. Of course I thought I had a big idea for this blog, and I of course, left it for the last minute. I've been more consistent with my blogging the last couple of months, and so I've been trying to get back into the groove of things. I fell off for a while, but I will agree that nothing gets me more mentally engaged than writing. Mentally or physically. 

I had a great chat on the phone today with a friend of mine from Scotland. It was a reminder again of (a) how lucky I am to be here and (b) of how lucky I was to spend five years in China. I loved the training, I made some great friends and had awesome classmates.

The friends I made in China aren't like a lot of other friends. They're my brothers and sisters now. We lived together for 5 years. We cried together when we all graduated. And we all decided to dedicate ourselves to our training. But in a lot of ways, we are so different. We live in different countries, we have different goals. Our lives are moving in different directions. 

I am fortunate that I came home and had an amazing tool handed to me that I could use to continue on this path I've set out on. It is not such an easy adjustment back to the "real world" where you have to make money and pay bills and do maintenance on your car and so many things that are dismissed as just a part of life. I have a great team of people that constantly help keep me grounded. I am surrounded by people that I watch progress on their own and inspire me to keep working hard. The year of the monkey has been difficult, but I feel so much stronger and I've learned so much. I wouldn't give it back for anything.  

Past Masters

After hearing about Master Hilbig, I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Sifu Brinker and the rest of the Sifus who have made me what I am today. Do I show them enough appreciation? Do they know how much their guidance has meant to me over the years? I have spent the entire night/day thinking and reflecting about who my mentors are and what they mean to me.

I am not great with emotion. Especially since I had my encounter with GBS. I am easily brought to tears. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of the time and effort all of my teachers have invested in me. It is no small feat to have inspired others to follow such an arduous path. But I can't imagine my life without kung fu. It would leave me feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied, and a gaping hole where once was a lifelong pursuit. I just  hope that my continued dedication gives them back at least as much as they have given me.

Cost of Consumerism

This Christmas season has reminded me a lot of my values. I have two young cousins (2 and 6) that are visiting for 10 days or so, and I've been trying to keep everything in perspective. I don't remember a time when I was a kid that I actually got everything I wanted. And I'm certain that's a positive thing. Most of those toys were forgotten by the next month. I was bothered by the number of presents my cousins received and their lack sometimes of appreciation for those things. Sometimes you don't know if they're going to have a temper tantrum or fall in love. My dad's side of the family decided to do a home made Christmas. Which was fun, although a lot more work. But then I thought about how much I invested in the gifts I made, and I feel as though it was worth it.

I have been working this year on spending less on 'things' and more on quality time and better quality food. I have recently gone through all of my emails and unsubscribed from anything that wasn't either about books, or about causes that I support. In my email I recently received an article from the David Suzuki Foundation that I felt was an affirmation that I am on the right path. I'm so tired of being advertised to and being encouraged to consume. I want to use the purchasing power that I have in order to support businesses that I believe are committed to sustainable practices and a better quality of life. Sometimes, it's difficult to find companies that are so forthcoming, but I do my best with each decision I make.

I'm going to share the article from the David Suzuki Foundation. It's a good reminder of the real cost of consumerism.

http://www.davidsuzuki.org/blogs/science-matters/2016/12/tread-lightly-to-lift-the-weight-of-the-world/?utm_campaign=scienceMatters-treadLightlyToLiftTheWeight-en-16dec2016&utm_source=mkto-none-smNonSubscribers-link-readOnline&utm_medium=email&mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWVdRMU9UYzNOVEE1TUdSbCIsInQiOiJ5eVB1RG5jYVhBZW14RUJGbndwZllyeDNBakVLSDl5RE5sakoxM0lBM2o2NDN6UGhQVFg4YXRHdmZsV25KSWxNbnc2WStzK29hU0pEWnhGTkxRUUwwN0lMM3FzQjYxdDN4c3V5NHVBbW0zZ1wvbThrTG45N3g4eHJXWkxJSU1hUzJRUnBQeDRiS2ZDUjZzUzdJdDhHYmZ3PT0ifQ%3D%3D