It's a New Year

This year I have a lot to be excited about. I'm teaching a lot of people forms. That's awesome. I love sharing my knowledge and it's a really great way for me to practice teaching. Teaching something I've never taught before is really difficult. The words that I use to describe movements need to be clear but not too defined. There has to be a small amount of room for adaptation. Everyone moves slightly different, and we all have our limitations. However, I'm going to try to remain as true to the forms as I can. Teaching someone a different style is often more difficult than teaching a beginner, There are so many similarities that it's easy to start to merge things together if you're not careful. Wudang looks like Kempo or vice versa.

I have come up with a blog challenge for myself this year. I'm going to write one blog a month on ways that I am experimenting with to reduce my environmental footprint. Some of the things I have already been researching and experimenting with and I'm hoping that this will not only share some good ideas that I've test run, but make me even more mindful on a daily basis of the decisions I'm making that directly and indirectly effect our environment. There are so many small things we could all be doing to help with this, and I hope to raise some awareness about those things.

Meditation and calligraphy are both still on my list. Although I've been practicing them both still, it's been very inconsistent. And the calligraphy student I started teaching last year lost interest pretty quickly. I have to say it's painstakingly detailed and I haven't come up with a less boring way to teach it. It's the way I learned. I practiced each tiny dot individually before I learned any of the actual strokes. It's an incredibly important detail just how you first make contact between your brush and the paper. It can change the entire look of a stroke. Kind of reminds me of 'Jeet'. I have decided to be a little less ambitious with my meditation. My goal was to meditate a half hour every day last year. But I did it so inconsistently it would maybe be half an hour a week. So now I've decided that even if it's 10 minutes, I need to start doing it daily. Then I can work on increasing my number. Incremental progression.

My forms this year are ambitious though. I am practicing a straight sword form that I've half forgotten. So it will be half relearning, half perfecting. That's cool with me. For my hand form I've chosen BaGua. This is going to prove to e difficult. It requires a lot of balance and smooth movements which are not my forte at the moment. But that's why I chose it. I\m hoping it will help me progress a lot this coming year.

I'm very excited to get to know some of our new teammates, but sad to see some go. But, we can't all be on the team all the time. Just wanted everyone to know how much I've loved this past year of getting to know you all. Last night was amazing. I left feeling tired, but full of gratitude for getting to spend my new years with such a spectacular group of people.

Moving Forward

I'm not great at writing under pressure. Of course I thought I had a big idea for this blog, and I of course, left it for the last minute. I've been more consistent with my blogging the last couple of months, and so I've been trying to get back into the groove of things. I fell off for a while, but I will agree that nothing gets me more mentally engaged than writing. Mentally or physically. 

I had a great chat on the phone today with a friend of mine from Scotland. It was a reminder again of (a) how lucky I am to be here and (b) of how lucky I was to spend five years in China. I loved the training, I made some great friends and had awesome classmates.

The friends I made in China aren't like a lot of other friends. They're my brothers and sisters now. We lived together for 5 years. We cried together when we all graduated. And we all decided to dedicate ourselves to our training. But in a lot of ways, we are so different. We live in different countries, we have different goals. Our lives are moving in different directions. 

I am fortunate that I came home and had an amazing tool handed to me that I could use to continue on this path I've set out on. It is not such an easy adjustment back to the "real world" where you have to make money and pay bills and do maintenance on your car and so many things that are dismissed as just a part of life. I have a great team of people that constantly help keep me grounded. I am surrounded by people that I watch progress on their own and inspire me to keep working hard. The year of the monkey has been difficult, but I feel so much stronger and I've learned so much. I wouldn't give it back for anything.  

Past Masters

After hearing about Master Hilbig, I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Sifu Brinker and the rest of the Sifus who have made me what I am today. Do I show them enough appreciation? Do they know how much their guidance has meant to me over the years? I have spent the entire night/day thinking and reflecting about who my mentors are and what they mean to me.

I am not great with emotion. Especially since I had my encounter with GBS. I am easily brought to tears. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of the time and effort all of my teachers have invested in me. It is no small feat to have inspired others to follow such an arduous path. But I can't imagine my life without kung fu. It would leave me feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied, and a gaping hole where once was a lifelong pursuit. I just  hope that my continued dedication gives them back at least as much as they have given me.

Cost of Consumerism

This Christmas season has reminded me a lot of my values. I have two young cousins (2 and 6) that are visiting for 10 days or so, and I've been trying to keep everything in perspective. I don't remember a time when I was a kid that I actually got everything I wanted. And I'm certain that's a positive thing. Most of those toys were forgotten by the next month. I was bothered by the number of presents my cousins received and their lack sometimes of appreciation for those things. Sometimes you don't know if they're going to have a temper tantrum or fall in love. My dad's side of the family decided to do a home made Christmas. Which was fun, although a lot more work. But then I thought about how much I invested in the gifts I made, and I feel as though it was worth it.

I have been working this year on spending less on 'things' and more on quality time and better quality food. I have recently gone through all of my emails and unsubscribed from anything that wasn't either about books, or about causes that I support. In my email I recently received an article from the David Suzuki Foundation that I felt was an affirmation that I am on the right path. I'm so tired of being advertised to and being encouraged to consume. I want to use the purchasing power that I have in order to support businesses that I believe are committed to sustainable practices and a better quality of life. Sometimes, it's difficult to find companies that are so forthcoming, but I do my best with each decision I make.

I'm going to share the article from the David Suzuki Foundation. It's a good reminder of the real cost of consumerism.

http://www.davidsuzuki.org/blogs/science-matters/2016/12/tread-lightly-to-lift-the-weight-of-the-world/?utm_campaign=scienceMatters-treadLightlyToLiftTheWeight-en-16dec2016&utm_source=mkto-none-smNonSubscribers-link-readOnline&utm_medium=email&mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWVdRMU9UYzNOVEE1TUdSbCIsInQiOiJ5eVB1RG5jYVhBZW14RUJGbndwZllyeDNBakVLSDl5RE5sakoxM0lBM2o2NDN6UGhQVFg4YXRHdmZsV25KSWxNbnc2WStzK29hU0pEWnhGTkxRUUwwN0lMM3FzQjYxdDN4c3V5NHVBbW0zZ1wvbThrTG45N3g4eHJXWkxJSU1hUzJRUnBQeDRiS2ZDUjZzUzdJdDhHYmZ3PT0ifQ%3D%3D

Diversity

Over the past 7 or so years, I have moved away from a lot of the friends and acquaintances. I feel like I have changed so much that I find it hard to relate to some of my old friends. We've grown apart and that's okay. Natural as we all grow out of our teenage years and early twenties. A lot of my friends are either still spending their time drinking beers and watching TV or they have gone in a different direction. Having children, and moving into that new phase in their lives.

Since being in the I Ho Chuan, the kwoon has become not only a place for training and pushing my limits, but a place full of people I can relate to. Which seems funny sometimes because I look around sometimes and we are very different people outside of the kwoon. Different occupations, different religions, disparate values in a lot of ways. Although we are a diverse group, we have a similar passion that brings us together. Not just kung fu, but our own pursuit of mastery. Kung fu is so much more than just physical fitness and martial skill. It's my most valuable tool for personal progress. And if I can learn to utilize that tool correctly, it's something that I could share with those around me.

As the year of the Monkey is starting to wind down, I've been thinking a lot about this year and reflecting on the progress and struggles of my year. Brandi told me the other day that for "the Ox" (my Chinese Zodiac), the past few years have been very difficult, but the coming year is supposed to give them a fresh start. I'm really hoping that next year is a bit easier than the last few. I know that struggling is what makes us learn and grow, but I'd like a little bit of time to recuperate. Keeping my fingers crossed for the Year of the Rooster.

New Year's Resolutions

I've never been the New Year's resolution type. I guess I figured it would most likely end how most peoples' end, with me not following through. There's no point in lying to myself about what changes I'm going to make. Instead I chose to make decisions throughout the year that I wanted to be permanent. There was no glamour of having a list of changes, just some boring lifestyle change that I never really shared with anyone. My own thing, my own willpower.

I've been thinking a lot since the meeting about how my life has possibly changed since joining the I Ho Chuan. Not just this year, but every year since I came home. I did my first year of the I Ho Chuan while still living in China. From New Years until October I did all of my training and blogging while still in Wudang. At the time I didn't realize how much more difficult the I Ho Chuan would be living at home. More responsibilities and distractions.

While discussing whether or not to continue on next year's team with Sifu Brinker, I had a small moment of realization. Since I finished my training in China, I have been on the team every year. Different levels of participation required of course, but still, I've always had the I Ho Chuan to help guide my transition. I never had a plan for when I came home. I just wanted to open my own school. There. Plan created. I had no steps in mind to make that happen. Just some vague idea of a goal.

So the thing is here that, had I not gotten sick and decided to move, I would have had a ridiculous amount of work ahead. I had no idea where I was going and what I was doing. We talk about incremental progression, that would have been full blown flip over upside down and hang there for a while trying to get my head straight. The I Ho Chuan has provided me a way to set my goals, and to hold myself accountable. Not just to the team, but to myself. It's given me some direction. Especially during my recovery this past year. And now that the progress is less obvious, is when I need it most. I get to choose a lot of my own goals, and they are things that I have decided are valuable, and can help me improve myself and take deliberate steps towards mastery. My goal is still the same. I want to teach. But I've realized that there are many opportunities to teach. Teaching compassion and empathy through my own actions and words. Teaching the value of hard work and discipline through my own experiences and training.



"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Brain Sludge

I have been agonizing over what to write for days now. I don't want to blog about Trump. Although I've been thinking about him for many days now, I don't have anything to say. I'm still in shock.

I had to put our lovely not even 2 year old cat down this Monday, which was hard on me. No matter what anyone says, I still feel guilty about it. I did everything I could, but it just wasn't enough, and it made me feel helpless and sad.

On a brighter note, I've decided to join the rooster team. Ms. Bergstreiser reminded me of the encouragement I gave her to join the team last year and I was reminded of my reasons why I thought the team would be great for her. Even though she was on "light duties" there were still many great steps forward on her part and look at where she's at now.

Sometimes it's great to have a friend and teammate give you back your perspective.

I've been meditating and practicing qi gong or tai chi nearly every night since Tiger Challenge. I thought a lot about what I want my goals to be for next year, and I thought about all of the things that I could do rather than all of the things I couldn't. I feel kind of like, "the little engine that could".