Answering Questions

I think as an instructor, it's really important to have a student challenge you. I mean, it feels great sometimes to have someone that just follows you without question, assumes that you're doing things correctly and with reason, and also thinks that you're the bees knees. 

The problem is, that's not a particularly great learning environment for your student or yourself. I'm not talking about someone whose ego gets in the way of their listening and learning. I'm talking about a student that asks difficult questions. Someone that is clearly very mentally engaged in their training and likes to get into the nitty gritty of all things kung fu. 

These relationships are integral for my students, and encourages me to learn and grow as an instructor. Therefore, I become a better teacher and listener. They also serve up some humble pie once in a while, when a question is asked that I realize, I don't know the answer to or have never really thought about. There are many questions I can answer with some listening, watching and attention to detail. But there are those that make you question your knowledge and understanding. And although most of the time I discover that I DO know the answers, it's again, refreshing to have to regroup and re-evaluate. 

I think it's also important to sometimes say things like, "I don't know" and "let me think about that". It can be difficult to maintain confidence while telling your student you don't know something. But, this makes it clear that I'm not just carelessly answering questions to feel important. I am deeply involved in their learning and it's important to me. 

Who Are YOU on the Internet?

It's interesting trying to think about how to market oneself. What's they "right way"? Does a person want to attract students based on the persona that they put out as a martial arts teacher? Or a Daoist? Or does a teacher try to market the "real" self with a few edits? How many edits are too many? 

I think this question is what has made it difficult for me to continue blogging. What unrealistic expectations does this create in the student and master relationship?

When I'm part of a team, I feel like I'm representing all the black belts that I share my training space with. And that, I feel, definitely needs some edits. I am far from perfect. But yet, I love reading the real struggles and thoughts of people that are willing to step up and present themselves honestly. I find this to be far more inspiring that this strange caricature of what we're all aiming for. 

I have never been a huge fan of team sports. And as I am no longer a "team" member in the literal sense of the word, I think I'm going to go the route of honesty. I think I will respect myself more if I can represent myself accurately. I mean, I truly think that the best way to move forward is to look at yourself honestly, acknowledge flaws and faults, and figure out ways to grow beyond them. If I'm not sharing openly my struggles, then I believe anyone who actually takes the time to read this, won't truly understand what they would get from me as a teacher. Or as a student. Or as a friend. And this is important to me. 

Sister Love

I spent the last 10 days visiting with my sister and brother-in-law in Penticton. This was an exciting trip as they've recently moved from Houston to Penticton. I remember saying to Dan about one year ago how much I love my life and how happy I was and the only thing that could make it better is if Brandi moved closer. I got my wish.

It was amazing how quickly we got into a rhythm. Firstly, travelling with a baby, any major changes can be pretty stressful so in that sense, it was not the most relaxing trip I've ever taken. On the other hand however, we spent evenings practing Tai Ji 108 together and stretching and it felt great to go to bed with the relaxed post Tai Ji/Stretching sleepies. We walked a lot on a daily basis, and being as Simon and Brandi are vegan, ate pretty healthy the whole time we were there. I also got to take a look at their plans for their curriculum and bounce some ideas around with them. 

It's so easy to get caught up in day to day life with a baby and a home to maintain. I'm happy I could take this trip to remind myself that I can incorporate more and more practice into my life, even if it's only stretching before bed and brainstorming ideas. 

Morning Routine

I have been reflecting on my goals for this year recently. As I mentioned, I am behind with my goals setting. Not in deciding what the goals are, but in my plans to actually achieve them. I'm quite aware that a goal without a plan is just a dream. Physically I have some catching up to do. I've lost a fair amount of strength and movement in certain ways since becoming pregnant and having Claire. Although I've allowed myself a certain leeway here, it's about time for me to step up my game.

The problem lies in the execution. I'm already over tired a lot of the time, and hate to lose any sleep, but I feel that the morning, before Claire is awake, would be the best time for me to get practice in. I mean sure, she goes to bed at 730. But, by the time the evening happens, the kitchen is a mess from cooking throughout the day and there's usually a significant amount of baby cleanup. So I'm going to start setting an alarm (up to this point, I allowed Claire to be my alarm). Drag myself out of bed in the morning, and make some of my dreams into goals again. I know how beneficial a morning routine can be, and so I need to work on my follow through in this aspect.

Past the Black Belt

The New Year brings many new changes into our lives.

Yesterday, my husband was promoted to black belt at Silent River Kung Fu. An incredible and momentous occasion, made better by the friends and family we shared it with. I remember receiving my own black belt 5 years ago and the changes it brought to me, and I hope it brings great things for him as well.

In China, we trained without belts and without rank besides that of who your kung fu 'uncle or aunt', 'grandfather', and older 'sibling' might be. That's the great thing about something like getting your black belt. It's not necessarily the completion of something, but rather the end of using your rank to drive you. Instead you are forced to look for other motivation to better yourself. You can start looking deeper at what you're doing and why. Find out what things are serving your training and start to implement your own program. This is where I really started to become a martial artist.

For years in China we were driven to train. It was mandatory attendance and the practice was dictated completely. This is what you do. Do it now, and don't ask questions. Then, in our last year, all the rules were taken away. You don't have to go to class anymore. You don't have to practice anything in particular, and if you want to improve, figure it out on your own.

Unfortunately, this is usually where people lose their way. Someone that is dependent on structure and outside leadership, is suddenly floundering, unsure of their direction. But this is the opportunity you are given so that you can learn who you are and what you want to be. A fellow black belt said a couple of weeks ago, "you need have someone to compete with and compare yourself to in order to become better, but that person should be you." Perfectly eloquent.

The New Lunar Year

I have made much progress in some areas this year. There are also many areas that I let slide. This was my experiment with not being on the team, and actually, I feel okay with how the year's gone. Don't get me wrong, I haven't blogged since July, which in itself says a lot. But Sifu Brinker giving me the opportunity to be a mentor for the I Ho Chuan class has really done a lot for me mentally and helped keep me motivated and engaged. 

There were a few things that changed since I set out this lunar year. I happily, have been teaching a private student. Coming up with my own class plans has given me a lot of confidence in certain areas of my teaching. There have also been many struggles. Such as, having a private class, leaves me as his only partner for any type of partner work. This can be difficult, but so far we've made it work.

I am also almost 25 weeks pregnant as many of you know. This has definitely made it difficult to keep myself motivated and training. I have this somewhat irrational fear that has kept me pushing forward. I've worked so hard to get to where I am in my training, I really don't want to give all of that up for parenthood. There needs to be balance, and that's what I've been focusing on and trying to plan for. 

This next year, I won't be able to be part of the team, as Dan and I can't necessarily be training at the same place at the same time. And that's okay. I just need to continue to set goals for myself to work towards, and remember to keep myself  high on the priority list. Kung fu is something that I have been practicing for more of my life than not, and it's something that I'm going to need to keep myself physically, mentally, and spiritually engaged and living in the moment. 

Real Experience

I've been listening to a fantastic audio book lately. Not one that I would necessarily recommend to all ages, due to it's controversial content. There's the disclaimer. It's called "How to Change Your Mind" by Michael Pollan. I've been a fan of his writing for many years. He has many books I've read that I found particularly fascinating.

I'm not going to go into great detail on what the book is about. The part that has really stuck with me so far is about our perception. When we're children, all of our experiences are fresh and new and so our brains absorb the new information and grows. As we age, our brains begin to fill in information for us based on past experiences. It's quicker and easier and therefore more efficient for our brains to process experiences this way. But, because the brain is filling in this information, one no longer has true experience.

Based on the past, the brain predicts what an experience will be like. So the way we perceive things to be, is somewhat tainted. Even our perception of time can be changed and morphed into something completely subjective. Although time is relative anyways. The whole point here is that as you get older, it gets harder to change the way you think. In order to remain truly open minded, it's very important to step completely out of the day to day grind, and let oneself experience something that was never thought possible.

In our training, it's the same. The farther we progress in our training and the more we practice something, it becomes much more difficult to change how it is executed and how we approach our practice. It's very important to step outside of our comfort zones, let go of our egos, and try something new. This is how we continue to progress.