A Battle Against Apathy

Group and Self Motivation

2012-01-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

So I made the statement that I would write this blog before I left to go to Hawaii. Which was a mistake, because I didn't, and now I feel bad about it, but nevertheless I'm writing it now.

I had a great opportunity while I was home to have a one on one talk with Sifu Brinker. We discussed so many things that it would be hard to write them all down. I did though make an observation while I was home and training at Silent River. I realized that in all the years I spent training, I missed a great opportunity. Okay so I missed a lot of them, but hindsight is 20/20.

I realized how much I've come to rely on my peers while training in China. It becomes routine when you're with the same people, doing the same things together every day to start to rely on one another to get you through some of your toughest times. I spend a lot of energy every day looking for motivation and for inspiration in the people around me. It's hard sometimes to keep a positive frame of mind, and no matter what your natural disposition is, I think this is true for every person.

When I was training at Silent River, I never really took advantage of the people in my class, and I didn't even realize what I was missing out on. I see now that a lot of the times when I was struggling to stay motivated in my training, I had a great tool that I had overlooked. There's such a great atmosphere of camaraderie at the school that I never took part in. I am a very independent person, and so I felt as though I had to do things on my own, all the time. I'm not suggesting that you don't need self motivation. I feel it is necessary if you want to improve in your training. But that doesn't mean that there isn't people around you who can help you along when you're struggling, and perhaps give you a fresh outlook on occasion. And it feels great to be able to give new perspective to help someone else who has lost their momentum.

I'll be home for Christmas!

2011-12-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

The time finally arrived! Brandi and I have been home for a couple days now, and I have to say that nothing has made me appreciate my parents acreage, and Alberta more than spending a year in China. The count down to our holiday seems to get more and more difficult every year.

I sprained my ankle about a week before leaving (actually a couple days after I wrote my last post) and I was a little heartbroken. Not only did it prevent me from training at all during my last week and a half, but it will be really difficult to work on anything while I'm home. I know a lot of my fellow students love the fact that they don't have to practice while they're home, but I find it frustrating. It's a time that I can work on any of the things I think I need to, and I'm not exhausted from all the other training. It's frustrating.

I do love Christmas though, and I don't think anything could really bring me down at this point, so I'm just going to try to not worry about it, keep stretching every day, and hopefully by the time we head back I should be more recovered.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone.

Motivation

2011-12-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

As we come closer and closer to our Christmas holiday, it's becoming progressively more difficult to stay focused on my training. I tend to spend large portions of my day (and my meditation) thinking about all the things I want to do, people I want to see, and the food I want to EAT!

Our class as a whole is actually depressing to spend time with. We bicker with one another almost constantly. It's getting to the point that I find it hard to look at some people without 'blowing a gasket'. I really try and make an effort to push myself in training, and I get so tired of my own classmates bringing me down. I am generalizing here, but really, I'm struggling to enjoy their company sometimes.

To add to the lack of focus, our Shifu is in Beijing at the moment applying for all the visas he needs to travel this Christmas break. In his place he has appointed one of the coaches to drill us in forms and work to improve our movements. I really respect this coach, and I understand how hard it must be for him to take over our class for the last couple weeks before our break, so I'm really trying to show him my respect by training hard and focusing on the advice he's given us, but again, there are some members of my class who seem determined to bring down the atmosphere of our training.

This is the hardest time of the year for me to train. I want to push myself to the limits, because soon we will have a lot of time to rest, and I feel as though I'm being held back in some respects by the people who should be helping me to keep my focus.

Well that was a bit of a rant....

Monk Spade

2011-11-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

Well we've started the Monk spade. I have to say it's the most physically demanding form yet... Generally our forms require a lot of physical endurance but this form feels like I have a bar bell I'm attempting to do kung fu with. A weird combo of 'pumping iron' and fluid motion. It's a pretty tricky combination for me.

A lot of the guys in our class are not struggling as much with the physicality of it as my sister and I, but I have faith. We've kept up with them thus far, this will just be a bit more of a slow run from the beginning and a fast sprint later on. Once we've built up some more of the upper body strength we'll be set. The trick with this weapon seems to be that you have to use your whole body together to get the coordination and flow. And being as I'm not so strong, I just have to use my whole body. So in this sense I'm a bit ahead of the game. I don't have enough arm strength to be using just my arms to swing it around my head.

This is me being positive about the whole situation. About half way through every class I'm hoping for rain, just so we can have a class off from practicing the monk spade. Our shifu has an interesting approach to training. We don't start off slow and work our way into building up the strength. He approaches with the attitude that the more you practice it the stronger you get. All I can say is that I hope tomorrow my arms have recovered a little. My poor triceps.

Halloween

2011-11-04T04:07:00.000-07:00

This past 'weekend' was something pretty special at our school. Some of the foreign students decided to have a Halloween party for us and the Chinese students. I didn't have very high expectations, because usually our parties consist of some eating and some beer and tonnes of karaoke, which is fun, but gets a little old after a while.

Our kung fu brothers and sisters set up games for everyone, pumpkin carving, and trick or treating for the kids. My favourite part was the pumpkin carving. I was up to my elbows in pumpkin and winter melon(a giant, rock hard, green, squash-like vegetable that I carved) and it made me realize how rarely I use my creative genius. I'm not generally very artistic but I do love hands on projects. My friend Jake also wanted to dress as 'the crow' for his costume and he asked me to paint his face. I've never painted someone's face before but it was awesome. I, of course, dressed as a panda and had a great time playing games and dancing with my clothes stuffed with pillows.

I was very impressed with the organisation of this Halloween event. Generally, when we try to take on some kind of group project, it takes forever and it's an exercise in frustration trying to get everyone in the same place at the same time. And when we do, we're like a dysfunctional family, all talking over each other, while half of us are sitting around making jokes and not paying any attention to what's going on. It's amazing to me to see the difference in how we work together while training, and how we don't work together outside of class. But thanks to a few special individuals, this whole party really came together. It was a great opportunity for us foreigners to bond a little with the Chinese students also. It will be a tough party to top, but it was definitely an occasion to remember!

My Parents

2011-10-27T03:40:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to my parents coming to China for a couple years now, but when it came down to a few weeks prior, I was more than a little apprehensive. My dad has never been outside North America, (I'm including Mexico in North America although that's not exactly correct) and my mom hasn't left the continent in oh... let's go with 30 years. China's not a place that I would necessarily recommend for the unseasoned traveler either. There's a lot of social differences that even after living here for 2 years, I still don't understand. Add into the equation travelling in China without at least a minor understanding of the Chinese language. I know how difficult it is because I've done it.

I haven't been on a real holiday with my parents since I was a teenager. It was great being able to just wander around and go shopping, or taking buses all over the place, going to look at this temple, and that village. They were the best travelling companions I've had. Their easy going outlook and their willingness to jump with both feet into something completely new was really inspiring to me. If something didn't work out according to plan they easily adapted. They weren't put off by a ducks head, or some weird fish, or a baby pooping in the street. Except for a few questionable bathrooms I'd say they left with a pretty good impression.

Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll end up one day, stuck in a rut, being afraid to really live my life to the fullest. But looking at my parents here in China made my fears soften. They aren't faint of heart. They're brave, inquisitive and curious about different cultures and the world. Hopefully when I'm older I can keep the same open mindedness as they have.

Arg....

2011-03-12T03:51:00.000-08:00

Well this blog is about to become a list of my kung fu related injuries. Last Tuesday I pulled my groin which has actually been healing pretty well. Then first class on Friday we fought and I dislocated my shoulder.
I'd have to say that this is the most frustrating part of being here. Compared to a person at home, injuries are always a setback but here being as kung fu is all I do in a day, having an incapacitating injury such as this is really depressing. I know that i'm not going to be out of the game for too long but at this point it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
On a totally different note, our Shifu has been giving us numerous lectures on natural living that have been incredibly interesting. I'd write more but I'm typing one handed so I'm going to give up on this effort for now. Good thing I have a lot of free time ;).

After the storm comes the calm

2011-02-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in a while and honestly, I'm in a terrible frame of mind for it. I was actually hoping that the idiom "after the storm comes the calm" went the other way around because for me at the moment, it seems to be more accurate. Coming back from break was great. I love training. I haven't found anything that makes me feel invigorated like kung fu does, but at the moment, I feel on the verge of death. UGH!

I've already gotten an injury (we've been training for about 3 weeks), and now our Shifu has decided that we should do power training at every class to make ourselves stronger. Which I'm totally all for, except going from doing nothing, to doing in every day. It seems I'm just adding injuries on top of one another already, and we've only begun. The Chinese students return form their holiday tomorrow and I'm dreading the thought of adding them back into the mix.

It's lunch time now, so I'm gonna go stuff my face hopefully.

Tai Ji 108

2010-10-31T04:00:00.000-07:00

We've started learning the 108 and well I must say it's definitely intense. Our Shifu gave us a bit of a lecture on Tai Ji that I found really interesting. He said that there's two ways to practice Tai Ji. One is for feeling, so for instance I would say the way people practice normally, working on fluid movement and continuous motion and learning to feel the chi in the movement.

He explained that the other way is to practice similarly to have fluid movement and continuous motion but also to have incredibly low stances. This builds up strength and flexibility together. He said that lifting weights and doing other things like push ups, sit ups, and squats etc., make your body strong but also tend to make your tendons and ligaments stiff. He said practicing Tai Ji with stances as low and as wide as possible helps build up what he calls elastic power. So it's not just the power in your muscles but also improves the power in your tendons and ligaments helping to prevent future injury. He feels that this kind of practice is very important.

I'm not going to go so far as to say that I really like practicing Tai Ji in this fashion but I can see and feel the difference in my body already and it's only been a couple of weeks. I'm really looking forward to the improvement.

Eating Meat

2010-10-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

So I've broke my vegetarianism.

I'm a little sad about it I won't lie. I think I lasted... about 4 years. Not bad. The reasons I chose to become a vegetarian still exist and I still feel strongly about them so I do find myself feeling guilty at times. I read in a book called the thrive diet a lot about the acidity of meat and the fact that it's really hard for the body to digest and often times sits in your intestines for a undetermined amount of time (which I really hate to think about). There is also the environmental reasons behind my choice that are really the reasons that make me feel guilty. I just try to make decisions to eat little meat. Although the diet here isn't formed so largely of meat as it seems to be in the prairies of Alberta. Also the meat in China is not so commonly mass produced and farmed like it is at home. You're more likely to be eating beef or chicken from a local farm.

It's really difficult where we're living to keep a vegetarian diet and not be lacking in protein. If I was just living a regular life here and not training for 8 hours and some per day then I think it wouldn't be a problem. Eggs and tofu are not totally uncommon. But I also have been living at the school for over a year now and I have to say that not eating meat here is pretty brutal. There is very little variety in the vegetables cooked at the school and eating cabbage, beansprouts, and squash really loses it's appeal after some point. You would think, living in the country that invented a lot of meat supplements, that there would be a lot of options for meat replacement. But maybe it's because we're living in a smaller town that these things are not available. It's frustrating never the less.

My mom did make the point that once I return home I always have the option of going back to being vegetarian. The initial transition was pretty hard last time but there's so many more option for delicious vegetarian food, and I generally cook my own food a lot when I'm living at home I have more of a choice of the things I need to eat.

Another performance...

2010-10-17T05:34:00.000-07:00

SO we just finished another performance with Jackie Chan which was pretty cool. We've spent the past week 'rehearsing' for our performance at the opening ceremony of the international wushu competition. Although I still do find it exciting to be in the presence of an amazing celebrity, I'm pretty much at my end of tolerance for dealing with Chinese culture. I've been swarmed by tourists asking to take pictures with me.

This morning we had to take a bus up the mountain to a temple at the top and do two more performances on the mountain. And once we were up there we found out that we would be doing the same thing for the next three days. I'm just exhausted by being a tourist attraction. I've never been in a situation like this before. How long do you let the government walk all over you before you have to draw the line somewhere? What options does a person really have in this situation?

Moon Festival

2010-09-24T03:06:00.000-07:00

So Wednesday was moon festival or autumn festival by use of the lunar calendar and our Shifu was generous enough to give us 3 days off. I can't remember the last time we had a long weekend so this was a really nice break. All of the different classes were asked to come up with some kind of performance for the evening and so we did spend a little time practicing but it was really simple. Our class performed our Daoist chanting that we're learning and also acted out a very simple play from the three kingdoms period. It was really fun to get to use a bit of creativity with our costumes and to just do something a little out of the norm.
Our Shifu also bought a new karaoke machine (in China you can't have a celebration without karaoke). So we sang and danced and it gave us a really great opportunity to get to know some students that maybe we don't get to train with often. Also teaching some of the younger Chinese kids how to dance was hilarious. It's funny to think that someone that's so good at Kung Fu can't seem to figure out how to move to music. Not that I'm a professional or anything but I had a really great time with them. It's nice to see some of the younger kids get a chance to just fool around.

Brandi and I might be getting our own rooms (I'm typing this with crossed fingers). Although I do love my sister, it would be really great after a year of sharing a tiny room with way too much stuff in it. There would be some inconveniences for me since I don't have my own computer, but hey.. I can deal with it. I'm not much for this computer stuff anyways. I'll look forward to having room to spread out. Literally and figuratively.

Injury Number... Oh I Can't Keep Track

2010-09-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

It seems like since our last Christmas break I have incurred injury after injury. I'm at the point where I'm so frustrated I just want to explode. First it was about three or four months of shin splints. Which means I had to stop running and could do no jump kicks for almost those entire months.

And almost as soon as I got over those I hurt my knee one class while we were practicing throws. I had just started running again. I was starting slow, running three times a week trying to make sure I didn't cause the shin splints again. Now at this point I've actually gotten over my great hate of running. I'd actually begun to enjoy it because it was something that I'd been forced to 'put on hold' for months.

I got a solid punch to the jaw in one of our sparring matches and had to get a serious anti-inflammatory from the hospital because I was in such incredible pain. For weeks I wasn't able to open my mouth fully and could only eat soft foods and had to chew very slowly and carefully. (Admittedly this had a positive effect on my eating habit which are generally stuff as much food in my mouth as fast as possible.)

After our trip to Beijing I was hoping for a fresh start. But somehow I seemed to have strained some of the tendons in my foot. I got an x-ray to make sure that the bones are alright and so now I'm baffled as to what I could've possibly done to my foot to cause this much pain. It doesn't really seem to be getting any better but this week is moon festival so we'll have two full days off. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that I will heal.

This is the most difficult training here. Getting past the frustration of injuries and not being able to participate in all the things I want. Arg! I'm sure I'm not the only person who has ever been through this. But this is new for me and I'm struggling.

Eat, Pray, Love

2010-09-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

I don't have a lot to say this week. I just finished reading the book called 'Eat, Pray, Love', by Elizabeth Gilbert. (I know that it's been made into a movie but movies sometimes are just missing something...). I really liked reading someone else's perspective on the search for happiness and enlightenment. Her approach to finding these things in some ways is completely different from my own, but in other ways, very similar. I found that it really opened my eyes to the motivation behind a lot of the decisions I make especially in my relationships to other people. I'd recommend this book to just about anyone although I'd guess it would appeal more to women.

And... Just as a side note. Reading about someone spending four months in Italy doing basically nothing except learning Italian and eating a plethora of delicious food (that I of course don't have a chance of eating anytime soon) was torturous and fabulous.

Hopefully next week I'll have more to say about training because I don't think I'll have finished my next book by then. Ha!

Wudang.... Home Sweet Home

2010-09-02T04:54:00.001-07:00

Pretty frustrating that I made a commitment to blog weekly and then just actually couldn't get access for 2 weeks. ARG!

It's great to be back to the old and the familiar. I don't want to spend this whole entry complaining about how terrible our trip to Beijing was, so I'm just going to make it brief. We ended up staying for 2 weeks instead of 4 days so we were more than a little unprepared. We spent the majority of our time there waiting for something. Waiting for the bus, waiting to rehearse, waiting for dinner, etc. I'm not a particularly patient person, so I'd have to admit, this drove me a little insane. Other than that, and the fact that our government liaison had to be one of the most annoying Chinese women I've been forced to spend time with, I actually kind of enjoyed myself. I'm a people person, and I had the opportunity to meet a lot of new people.

There was one in particular (I'll omit names), that had to be the epitome of jerkiness. I really can't remember ever meeting someone that left me so offended at the end of any interaction between us. But I was particularly proud of myself. Despite one outburst after an especially lewd comment, I didn't really let him get under my skin. I just mostly pretended as if he wasn't there. Our Shifu always says that it's a special skill being able to ignore people and let people like this one leave you unaffected. I also met some really great people. Some, I was disappointed to not have the chance to get to know better. We exchanged emails so I hope that in the future our paths cross again. It was really interesting as well to meet people from a different style and see their different levels of skill. Some had just arrived in China, and others had been here for a year or so. Also had the opportunity to meet a Shifu from the Shaolin temple. 6 to 7 thousand students and he's been there for 12 years or something. Definitely some interesting experiences. This for me, was the best part of the trip.

I'm so happy to be back in Wudang. Getting back to our regular schedule, drilling forms, going to bed completely physically exhausted instead of mentally depleted of energy. I don't think I've gotten to the point yet where I can look at Shifu without a huge grin on my face. If anything, this trip really helped put my training back in perspective for the coming months before the break.

Beijing and Jackie Chan

2010-08-10T22:34:00.000-07:00

Got some exciting news today. Ten people from the traditional class are going to be in a TV performance with Jackie Chan. So this Friday we will be headed on the train to Beijing. I'm really excited. Not only do I really need a little bit of a rest, our accommodation and travel are all paid. We were also promised a 500kuai bonus for spending money. Sounds a little too good to be true so I'm not gonna keep my hopes up but it's a nice thought. It's about 100 Canadian dollars which can get you quite a lot in China. The chance to eat some western food is definitely an incentive in itself. It will be cool to travel with a group of my team members as well. Hopefully we'll get a little bit of face time with Jackie Chan, but seeing as he is China's biggest celebrity I'm gonna try to not get my hopes up for that as well. Many of the Chinese students at the school are definitely jealous so we promised to try and get a few autographs.

On another note. I've been getting acupuncture for my knee and I seem to be having really good results. We'll see how this performance goes and after that hopefully I will be as good as new. I was hoping to do some editing to my blog but since China's firewall is so strong, I've been mostly unsuccessful. Oh the joys of censorship. Ha!

Here it goes again...

2010-08-07T01:34:00.000-07:00

So I haven't blogged since February. I'm not even going to try to fill you in on what's happened in the past 6 months. I don't think I could fit it into 10 posts nevermind one.

So I've set a new years goal for myself and I'm starting early. On September 1st we hit our one year mark since the start of the program so this is my new years resolution. I had a couple of hard months motivation wise. The past month I've been feeling pretty great although it seems I accumulate one injury after another. But I noticed that I've been spending more and more time finding motivation by reading other people's blogs. Today I read Sifu Brinker's message 'the key is right in front of you' on kwoon talk and decided I needed to make some changes. I'm not a big computer person. I get bored sitting in front of a screen typing emails, I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people. But if I can find inspiration in so many other people's struggles and successes then hopefully I can inspire others in the same way.

So I'm blogging. And I will be blogging every week. I have a plan. Now the next step is taking consistent action. I'm actually looking forward to this. I'm going to make it last. Even though I haven't been writing, I've been reading. Thanks to everyone who shares their thoughts and experiences.

So This Is What It's Like To Feel Powerful....

2010-02-10T01:36:00.000-08:00

It's really been way too long since I've blogged. I doubt anyone's bothering to check it anymore. I'm a sort of lost cause when it comes to journaling. I love the feeling of picking up a pen and writing down my thoughts, but for some reason typing just doesn't do it for me. It's part of my new years resolution this year so I'm really gonna work at it...

I came back to Wudang and my training feeling completely renewed. I know that I will continue to struggle a lot over this next year, but being back here really reminds me of the purpose of being here and of the commitment that I've made. I've been approaching my training with a different attitude. And I'm not saying that the training isn't as difficult but I've been enjoying it more. Admittedly we haven't started running again yet, but I'm going to try to keep a positive attitude about that as well. I've only been here for a couple weeks but already I've sprained my ankle. It's healing faster than I expected.

Meditation is going really well. I was able to sit through a one hour meditation 2 days in a row. I've never been able to do this before so it was big progress for me.

Today it snowed and so we had class indoors. I don't generally enjoy training inside because it seems to get repetitive, but today we did some weight training and I've never felt so strong in my life. I did about 15 shoulder presses with about 24kg. I recall the last time we did it, I couldn't even hardly do 5 (with assistance from some of my kung fu brothers). This was really exciting for me. I'm already incredibly sore even though it was only about 7 hours ago, but the feeling of success is worth all the pain.

This week we also started a new form Tai Yi Wu Xing Quan. It was quite a surprise to be learning this form already. On the program plan it's a third year form. I'm really excited though. Brandi and I learned this form on our first visit to the school but I'm learning a lot relearning some of the moves. We've also been practicing dragon claw every day. Today after doing all those shoulder presses it was like torture but my hands are noticeably stronger already. Can't wait until I can hold myself up on my CLAWS! Grrrrr............

Brrrrrr!!... Winter Arrives to Wudangshan

2009-11-11T19:29:00.000-08:00

This week’s training has been the most rewarding for me so far.
Since the program started our Shifu has been training students for a tournament in Beijing. So although we did get a lot of personal attention, he was only available most days for one class per day. This week though, the tournament is over and done with and we’ve been getting his undivided attention. Which is awesome, but is definitely the most intense training we’ve had. It’s almost like the first week of the program all over again. Friday and Saturday’s classes were brutal, but I loved every one of them. We worked a lot on kicks and sanda (combat) training. Shifu taught us a new punch, kind of like a hook punch, for close range sparring. It’s pretty funny watching someone his size demonstrate close range combat with the biggest guy in the program. You can hardly see him pressed up against Evan’s midsection, but the instruction he gives is incredibly in depth and you can really see the transfer of power when he’s explaining it. I mean he’s about 5’7” and maybe 55kilos so it’s hard to believe someone his size can generate that much power in a single movement. But I’ve felt it, and it gives me hope.
The focus shields that we usually use here are not like the ones at home. It’s like punching a bag of sand. The first time we practiced thrust punches on them, I was really disappointed because I noticed that my wrists were not strong enough. It didn’t seem to matter how good my technique was, or how hard I punched, my wrists continuously folded. This time we were practicing and I really felt like I was transferring power. My wrists held up through at least 100 punches and I felt like I was getting real penetration of the shield. We’ve been practicing using our whole core section for punching and I noticed a huge difference. Because we’re spending so much time training, it’s not like you see daily improvement. It happens slowly, and so I really get excited when I do see a difference. Its small things like this that help me through the plateaus.
This Saturday we also had our first class on Taoist culture and theory. It was totally awesome! I’ve never really been a religious person, but I am a spiritual one. And Shifu talked about the Tao and how difficult it is to understand. He often makes the point that you can learn the Tao, and you can understand it, and you can know everything about it inside and out, but if you can’t apply it in your life then it’s useless. It’s important to understand it, but it’s also important to utilize it. He’s said it’s like practicing martial arts; at first you learn the forms, and you know the moves and the more you practice it the more skill you have. But if you don’t understand the movements, and the reasons behind them, then what’s the point?
The weather here this week has reminded me a lot of home. Friday and Saturday it was really hot. We were all out in tank tops, sweating our asses off. But since then it’s been cold and windy and rainy and this morning we woke up to a light layer of snow. It brings back some nostalgia and makes me more than a little home sick, but in perfect foreshadowing, this week Shifu also told us an old Chinese story that I really liked.
‘A student decides he wants to train and he goes looking for a master and everywhere he goes he carries a huge sack around on his back. He finds a master and when his master asks him what it is the sack, he tells him, “These are things I really love. My parents are in this sack, so they follow me wherever I go. I have food, and games, and my guitar. These things really make me happy so I keep them with me.” The master tells him to come with him and they go to the river. They take a boat and go across to the other shore. The master says to him “okay, now carry the boat with us.” And his student says “I cannot it’s too heavy.” Then his master says to him, “but it’s useful, we might need it, we should take it with us”. And his student says “yes but I cannot carry it around with me it’s impossible.” His master says “yes sometimes in life you have to leave things behind. Maybe even the things that you love.”

My Creative Side

2009-10-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

So my friend Cam went on a short holiday for moon festival and while he was gone, I watched his room and fed his fish and turtles. As a gift for this incredibly difficult task, he brought me back watercolour paints, brushes and paper. As I looked at all these art supplies I thought to myself "Wow, Cam's gone totally crazy".

Outside of my martial arts, I don't spend a lot of time expressing my creativity. Actually outside of Kung Fu I don't really have a lot of creativity. I was almost dreading our date to paint this Thursday. I had no inspiration, I was so scared I would just end up staring at a blank piece of paper for an hour. So during lunch, I was telling some of my friends about the dreaded painting, and a friend, Jon, suggested I paint his portrait. I laughed really hard and sort of shrugged off the idea but by the time lunch was over I had decided to do it.

Cam and I spent hours sitting on the floor of his room, just playing around with the watercolours and by the time we were finished I had painted four pictures. Now, I don't claim that any of them are masterpieces but I was really shocked and amazed at how much fun I had. I did paint a portrait of Jon and today I gave it to him. And although obviously not done by a professional, he really enjoyed it. I actually had some other people ask me to paint portraits of them. I've found a side of myself that I never knew was there and a way to share it with other people... Very exciting!

A Day Off!!

2009-09-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

This week so far has been totally awesome. We've been working our butts off but it's really paid off as far as I'm concerned. It seems that the days that we're fresh, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday they really push us hard, and then Monday and Tuesday we do a lot more Tai Qi and meditation. Wednesday(today), is normally our demonstration day but Master Yuan is filming a movie with Jackie Chan today so we get the day off. Well.. not exactly. We still got up and ran at 5am this morning and had our morning Qi Gong class. But it seems so much easier when in your mind you know that once it's over you get to rest.
Last night we had to demonstrate our basic form in front of the class, one at a time. Although I was pretty nervous, and I made some mistakes, it was a really positive experience. Training with the same group of people every day is sometimes frustrating. But last night we were all cheering each other on and encouraging one another. It felt like a sports team or something, not that I've ever been on a sports team. But it was a nice 'bonding' experience.
We've also been working a lot on flexibility training, We usually work in pairs and I find this very encouraging as well. There's so many people with different levels of flexibility but everyone's pushing one another and helping each other stretch past that comfort point. Sometimes it's painful but the results speak for themselves. Yesterday morning, after we had all finished our stretching exercises, Master Yuan gave us a flexibility demonstration. He wasn't warmed up at all, but can fold himself up into a pretzel. Pretty impressive. He did chin to toe with both feet. He says, "oh one side very easy, two sides very difficult." Crazy... Sometimes I don't even believe what I see. His muscles are so relaxed they are soft to the touch. Unless of course, he's using them to kick your ass. Bwahaha.
I'm really enjoying the training so far. Just trying to take it one day at a time. I'm just glad to have an extra day of rest to recover a bit. I am sore everywhere!

2009-09-10T04:54:00.000-07:00

I never know how to start...

The first week of the program is over. I've been trying to keep it simple and take it one day at a time. It's pretty overwhelming thinking that I'm planning to spend the next 5 years of my life training like I've trained this week. We get up at 5am and run 6 days a week. I've never run so much in my life. On saturday we actually ended up running for something like 50minutes. If someone had asked me if I could run a half hour I would've said no. But I have no watch and once you reach a certain point of exhaustion, you just can't waste the energy trying to figure out. You just push yourself as hard as you can and hope for the best.

2009-08-28T22:08:00.000-07:00

Well again it's been quite some time since I blogged.

Back in Wudang again. And it`s very exciting. It`s been great to reconnect with some of our friends here. And it`s been especially great to spend some time with our master again. He`s just got a lot of charisma and is really full of inspiration.
Brandi and I just got internet in our room.. So my plan is to start blogging once a week. A friend here, David Wei (the one who wrote the article about the women of wudang) suggested that it would be a really cool idea if Brandi and I journalled weekly for our five years here. So people could follow our transformation. Although I`ve heard this before, I need to be reminded regularly. Playing on the computer is not my favourite pastime. Just add it to the routine.

So on to the training. It`s been way more intense so far than last time even. Arg. We get up at 530am for Qi Gong and Tai Qi. And even though I`m not really a morning person, this is my favourite part of the day. Probably because the rest of it feels like torture Our fist class is from 830 to around 11. We do our hour of basics and then just practice forms. The program hasn`t actually started yet so we`re just working on the stuff we learned before. Once the program starts the setup of our classes will be much more structured. We don`t have class again until 7 pm (because it`s ridiculously hot during the day). This class is usually the most brutal. Generally for basics we do kicks and then practice forms again. But the end of class for the last few nights we`ve been doing extra strength training on top of everything. We do like 50 burpees, or we do over 100 squats, low back stances, jumping training... etc. I can easily say I`ve never sweated so much in my life. Or been this sore.

I`ve been going through a lot of mental stress at ths point too. It`s very frustrating when it seems like you get less and less flexible, and more and more sore, and don`t really see an improvement. I`m sure after I get more conditioned this will be better, but at this point it`s very discouraging.

On a cooler note: the last couple days it`s been raining here. So we`ve been training inside. Last night we practiced tumbling and doing kipups(which was unsuccessful for me) and then today we practiced push hands. It`s been really fun. My backs pretty sore today but maybe this will give my legs a bit of time to recover. All in all, I`m really excited to start the program, and I`ve never been so scared.

One Chin Up

2009-06-20T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I don't have anything too exciting to blog about.

I've had a problem surface in my journey towards black belt.
It happens to be this leadership project. It's weird because I've always considered myself a leader in many ways but I can't seem to come up with something simple enough to accomplish. I was working with someone from the wagner society out by stony to do a naturalization project (tree planting and whatnot) but they were short on trees and I couldn't come up with them so the project fell through. Failure.. Boo..

But I'm taking it in stride because I did have a small breakthrough this week. I've been working on trying to do an unnassisted chin up for I don't know how long but I have been making no progress on the issue..
This week however I did one. And it felt great. That's the breakthrough.. now that I've done one.. I know I can do more. It's not an impossible dream because I've accomplished it. Yay!! That's about all I have to say about that.

Also.. I would like to add that I've been thoroughly enjoying the monday wednesday evening classes.. so thanks to all the sifus, sihings, and students that make the classes what they are!

Reinspired

2009-05-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

I sometimes find it difficult to remain inspired. I love the martial arts and I can't wait to go back to China when all I have to worry about is my consistent improvement. But I find sometimes I get wrapped up in the monotony of my life. Get up, go to work, go to class, and go to bed. Then get up, go to work, train and then go to bed. I fit time in for some other things in there too, but mainly this is what my life consists of. I get stuck, and instead of finding new and exciting things, I find myself sometimes drawn into the laziness of routine. A slave to pressure to become a complete robot.
I was feeling a bit like this for the past couple of weeks. I wouldn't use the word bored, but a bit discouraged. I was less excited to practice, mostly because I don't think I've been improving much. We had a class on Friday night and Master Brinker talked to us about how it only takes 15 minutes to drastically improve one technique, if you're practicing mindfully with the right intensity. So I've decided to up the ante for myself a bit. I've set some new goals for myself this month. I'm going to finish, 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' and it's corresponding questions, and I'm going to break boards. It's one of the requirements that I'm most uncomfortable with.
Meeting Master McNeil this weekend really made me realize that as much as the physical aspects of Kung Fu are important, so are the spiritual. It takes a lot of spirit sometimes to keep yourself going. To push through the doubts and setbacks, and to grow as a person, as well as a martial artist. Kung Fu has made me the person I am today, and I continue training not only for self defense, but for my future.
So that I can persevere in my personal battle against apathy.

The Tournament

2009-05-18T16:11:00.000-07:00

I felt slightly pressured to blog.
Although it's not a bad thing to blog, I just rarely get the access to a computer. I thought today would be perfect. Long weekend. Plenty of extra time not having to work and all...

I wanted to jabber a bit about the tournament.
Really it was one of my greatest experiences. I'm not much for tournaments, since, I went in one when I was an orange belt. That was a pretty long time ago. I just kind of decided that wasn't where I wanted to go with my Kung Fu. I thought it was all about showing off. But I am a lot more mature now and see the advantages to competing.

It made me specialize practice in my two favourite forms. I loved every second of practicing those forms for the tournament. A couple months ago I wouldn't have said they were my two favourite forms but after spending so much time on them I was really happy with the improvement that I felt in both. Kempo, I've known so long I almost zone out sometimes when I'm doing it. It's like when I'm finished, I can't really remember doing the form, only that I've arrived at the end. I really had to start focusing on all the details and I've become completely fascinated with it. And my horse hair whisk form, was one of the most difficult forms I've had to learn. I have a long way to go but I was happy with the improvement.

I really had a positive experience at the tournament as well. I enjoyed helping out at ringside, watching a lot of the other belt levels compete. It's the first time I've been to a tournament in years and to see such good sportsmanship and positive attitudes really got me excited. Even with the younger competitors who can't seem to help but love a bit of the glory, acted with a lot of respect towards one another. I was really thrilled to see that.

When it was my turn I was definitely more nervous than I expected, I felt a lot more emotional than I expected, but I made it through. Afterwards I was thinking that I should have entered more. That's how things go sometimes. I wasn't brave enough to just get up there and do everything. But I felt brave enough afterwards. Ha ha. Where were you courage??

I discovered that tournaments can certainly be used as a tool for improvement. Once I got up there and did my forms, it didn't matter what medal I got, if any. What mattered was that it was a victory for myself. I feel stronger mentally, I'm inspired again by what Kung Fu does for me, and I have visible improvement in my forms. I mean if that's not success I don't know what is. Thanks to everyone who participated.

Our Way Home

2009-02-11T02:53:00.000-08:00

So we left Wudang a whole 3 days ago but it feels like ages...
I'm really sad. There's just something so amazing about waking up every day and knowing you're going to spend the whole day doing something you're passionate about. Of course there's parts of the training that almost feel like torture but when you can see better results all the time it makes those times feel so much more important.

Our last couple days of travel have been pretty bad. Spent seven hours in hard seats on the train from Wudang to Wuhan. Then our taxi driver couldn't find our hostel so he chose to drop us off on the side of a dark road in the pouring rain to fend for ouselves... people amaze me sometimes. Anyways, we got another taxi who also couldn't find our hostel but at least dropped us off at a pretty decent hotel. We visited a Daoist temple the next day which was certainly the highlight of our time in Wuhan. The monks there were really friendly and nice. I don't think it was a very touristy temple. We got more stares than normal. Hahaha.

Sleeping on the train was really great. I mean we had beds, but you can't sit up in them so we spent 17 hours laying down. Can't complain too much.. better than 17 hours sitting.

Shanghai has been really good. We've been surprisingly busy... going here and there, looking for this and that. We went looking for a silk market yesterday which we didn't find, but found alot of other things instead. Including some silk. Haha. That's just the way things work sometimes.

Pretty much since we left I've really just been looking forward to getting home. Big cities are really not my thing so I'm glad we're leaving tomorrow. Not looking forward to getting up at 530am though.

Since I haven't packed yet.... that's the end of this post.

Coming to a close

2009-01-27T04:25:00.000-08:00

Hey so it seems like forever since I've blogged so it's gonna be a long one. Around Christmas time I started to have some major problems with my lower back. Major problems to the point where sometimes I was bed ridden because I couldn't sit and could only stand for short periods of time. Also one of the reasons I haven't blogged in ages.

So it's been about 10 to 14 days now since I stopped going for acupuncture. I feel alot better. I've really recovered well. The training's going really well. I finished my horse whisk form (which I swear is definitely the most difficult form I've ever learned) and just a few days ago finished Tai Chi 28. The next form I'm planning on learning is the most basic one (which I should have started with). Live and learn.

I've made a kind of crazy decision. There's a program being run by the headmaster of our school here (Master Yuan), which is either 3 or 5 years long depending on how far you want to take it and so I've decided to at least do the 3 year program. It's basically all of the forms of the school and includes some hard chi gong and alot of internal training. I'm really looking forward to it. It starts in September. It's become almost like a second home here. Me and Brandi have really become close to quite a few of the students.

I've also started training Iron palm which I surprisingly really love.. I'm not sure yet what it is that I love about it but the benefit is definitely obvious.. it's a 3 year process so it's a pretty big commitment in itself. I also plan to do other iron body training which I'm also really looking forward to.

So we're leaving in less than 2 weeks which I'm excited about and sad about. I really don't want to return to the working force for any amount of time but I'm sure it will reap it's benefits in the end. I can't wait to see everyone when I come home....!!!!!

My First 3 Weeks

2008-11-19T21:21:00.000-08:00

So Brandi and I have been training now for almost 3 weeks. I love it here. It's really different not having to worry about work and what's happening on the weekend with my friends. Considering I don't really have a weekend.

We train outside in a old temple that is currently being renovated. Which is wonderful. I can't remember the last time I got so much fresh air. We train usually starting in the morning at 630am with the 5 animals qi gong. Our first class is from 830 to about 11 and the second class is from 3 to 5. I've done more kicks in the past 3 weeks than I probably have in a year but it's nice because the only thing on my mind usually is how sore I'm going to be tomorrow. I don't have to cook because all the meals are provided. Although I love cooking and I miss it, I'm usually so exhausted that I'm just happy there's always food to eat.

Master Yuan is an amazing instructor. I don't know many people who understand their bodies as well as he does. I think you could probably see every ropy muscle in his body. I aspire to understand myself this well sometime. I have a long way to go. We've been practicing a really cool Tai Yi form. I've never seen or heard of it before. It's strengthened my body in a way that I didn't even know that it was weak. My posture is improved and when I practice my forms, I can already see an increase in speed and timing.

The past 3 days I've been pretty sick with the flu and it's hard to recover when my body is under so much stress but I've still gone to every class. I'm starting to finally feel better. I thought I knew what I wanted to do when I come back. But I've realized that I haven't actually made any decisions except one. I'm going to continue my study in the martial arts... I'm going to enjoy my time here, it seems like it's going to fast already. I'll make those decisions when the time comes.. live in the moment....

The Oddities of China

2008-10-29T18:31:00.001-07:00

So China's a very strange country.

The first thing I noticed was the spitting. Everyone feels free to just hoark a loogie anywhere and spit it everywhere. In the train station. In a restaurant. On the street. It's all the same. Brandi actually saw two guys shoot a snot rocket in one day! Disgusting!

No one follows the traffic rules. If the light says don't walk, more people walk across the road than when it says it's okay to walk. The cars change lanes whenever they feel like it and turn from any lane they want. They honk at each other constantly as though somehow this is going to stop the other person from doing what they're going to do anyways.

The other day Brandi and I were walking down the street in Beijing and they were spraying some kind of chemical on the trees. We were downwind and didn't have time to escape so for days all I could smell was something similar to the smell of varnish! It burned my lungs and eyes, but the guy standing out in the street spraying it had no protection. Crazy people here.

We are now in a smaller city called Luoyang. The babies here have little suits with holes in the bum so that if they poo their pants, they just poo on the street instead.

The toilets on the train were so disgusting I almost barfed. No wonder the people here get sick. They're massively over populated and the sanitation is non existent. No soap in the bathrooms. I mean come on get with the program.

I'm really excited to start training. I'm tired of being around people constantly. The great wall hike was amazing, it's the least amount of people I've been around since we left home. Ahh home.. So much space. I miss the space. I know... we've only been gone just over a week!

Goodbye Shanghai

2008-10-25T01:33:00.000-07:00

So Shanghai was interesting to say the least. Thank god we stayed in a really great hostel. The ladies that work at the reception here were incredibly helpful. I don't know if Brandi and I would've gone anywhere without getting lost.
Besides a few dramatic moments, like almost being ripped apart trying to get off the train during busy hours, and trying to get a taxi in the rain, it has been an enjoyable stay. We ate at 2 really great vegetarian restaurants. The faux meat here is so much better than what's available in Edmonton.
Although the traveling is going well, I didn't realize how much me and Brandi would be arguing. It's funny because we haven't lived together in years and I just thought since we get along so well normally that we would be the best of friends. Not that we're not getting along at all. But I remember what it's like to argue with my sister every 10 minutes. Haha. I blame the jet lag.
Today was the highlight of our time in Shanghai. We visited a monastery called Yofu. Just walking along beside it on the street I felt the most calm I've felt in weeks. The smell of incense wafting out was like heaven.
We went to see a Jade Buddha. Which I've seen before in Thailand. But this was different. Sorry. I have no pictures because they were not allowed. It was a spiritual experience. The most beautiful serene looking Buddha I've seen in my travels. I feel much more like myself.
I'm looking forward to Beijing and the great wall. But more than anything I'm looking forward to starting my training. Every day is almost like we're just passing time, seeing sights, before we really begin our journey.
Soon our crazy overnight train ride will begin. Hopefully we make it through in one peace.
Hello Beijing!

Departure from japan

2008-10-23T22:47:00.000-07:00

So it is our last day here and I am almost regretful that we're leaving. Good thing that there is a lot to look forward to. Yesterday Brandi and I went to the Meiji Shrine and Yoyogi park and then spent the day walking around Harajuku. I don't think I've ever seen so many clothing stores. It's comparable to West Edmonton mall. But at least it's outside.
We then had an amazing macrobiotic, vegetarian dinner at a famous restaurant that has served people such as Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney. It was excellent!
Today we got up early and packed and spent most of our day touring the imperial gardens. Working in a Japanese garden this summer made me appreciate all the time and effort put into sculpting the trees and shrubs. The detail put into the pruning amazes me.
We went for organic tea at a great little cafe and had a wonderful chat with the woman who owns it. Sometimes it's difficult to communicate but she was very patient.
Last but definitely not the least we went and ate soba noodles at a little restaurant without chairs and where slurping and burping are heard so often they go unnoticed. Perfect for me! Hahaha.
Although Tokyo is far too busy for me, it's been a nice little vacation and I got to see some of the culture which I thoroughly enjoyed. Next time I would like to see more of the country. I will return again sometime in the future. Goodbye Japan!